It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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