yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
that's an acceptable place to lick
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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