so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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