youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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