According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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