I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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