hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
