Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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