we have officially lost it.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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