..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
