well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
