so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
