Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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