No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
