All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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