and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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