i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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