Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
