She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
