the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
