Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
