I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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