entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
