Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
