dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
