you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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