sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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