I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
