have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
