Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
party gras won. party gras always wins.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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