I just threw up on my dentist
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
