idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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