I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
