He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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