So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
