Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
