I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
