Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize