mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
