Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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