Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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