and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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