she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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