butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
