party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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