it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize