Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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