Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
