Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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