I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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