"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
