Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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