just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
