The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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