woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
