My nipple is on Facebook.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize