we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
