do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
