STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
