he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize