i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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