Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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