I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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